Well, Trump Just Won in 2020

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty good about the election after last week’s two-day Democratic clusterfark, and the president has got to be feeling pretty good too, since he just won it. Oh, we have 17 more months of media pimping of whichever commie candidate is currently the least embarrassing, but the debates made it very clear that Trump is going to be POTUS until Ric Grenell is on the victorious GOP ticket in 2024.

In the Dems’ defense, they do have an uphill battle. The economy is on fire, we’ve dodged all the new wars our garbage elite has proposed, Mueller (who went unmentioned) delivered only humiliation, and all 723 Democrats running are geebos. But say what you will, they are a diverse bunch in every way except thought – among the weirdos, losers and mutations onstage were a fake Indian, a furry, a guy so dumb he quotes Che in Miami, a raving weather cultist, America’s shrill first wife, a distinctly non-fabulous gay guy, T-Bone’s homie, whatever the hell Andrew Yang is, and Stevie Nicks. 

But it was the thought part where they came together in a festival of insane acclamation. They agreed on everything, and it was all politically suicidal. Yeah, Americans are thrilled about the idea of subsidizing Marxist puppetry students and getting kicked off their health insurance so that they can put their lives in the hands of the people who brought you the DMV.

Exactly who, outside of Manhattan and Scat Francisco, think Americans are dying to stop even our feeble enforcement of the border, make illegal immigration not illegal, never send illegals home once they get here and – think about this – take our tax money to give these foreigners who shouldn’t even be here in the first place better free health care than our vets get? That should go well in places like Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania. I eagerly await Salena Zito’s interview with a bunch of construction workers at a diner near Pittsburg who tell her, “It really bugs me, Lou and Joe here that those people coming into the country illegally aren’t getting free heath care on our dime. We all want to work an extra shift so we can give it to ‘em. We need a president who finally puts foreigners first! Also, we all agree we ought to give up our deer rifles because people in Cory Booker’s neighborhood can’t stop shooting each other.”CARTOONS | Steve Kelley
View CartoonEven Joe Biden, who should know better, hopped onto that crazy Acela. One of the last Democrats who actually thought his party should bother with voters who have to shower after they get off work, Biden was looking bad. Physically, he appeared thin and tired and crusty – the last couple years have not been kind. Mentally, it was just sad. Joe was never going to get mixed up with Stephen Hawking, but his pathetic flailing about on stage demonstrated that he’s way too old, physically, mentally and culturally. He would have been perfectly fine up there with guys like Walter Mondale and Hubert Humphrey in 1979, but instead he was onstage in 2019 with a bunch of people who – to the extent they know who Walter Mondale and Hubert Humphrey were – think that those guys were a bunch of racist cis-het white males of privilege who can’t understand the truly important issues of today, like – as Julian Castro pointed out – free abortions for transsexuals.